Sermon Applications 11/16/08

Text: Ephesians 4:1-6

MAIN POINT: WE ARE TO WALK ACCORDING TO OUR CALLING.

NAU Ephesians 4:1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called,

1) FIRST, WE ARE TO WALK ACCORDING TO OUR CALLING BY BEING HUMBLE.

NAUEphesians 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,
NIV Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Application: How do I develop humility out of the gospel?
i) There is nothing more humbling than knowing who you are in Christ. You and I bring nothing to the table. When I understand that I am a sinner—it humbles me. Remember—

James 4:6-7 6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." 7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Most often our pride comes from thinking how good we are. Sometimes we think we are morally better than others… other times we think our doctrine is superior. Let me just say this: I love Reformed theology and Calvinism… but if I truly understand Reformed theology (and think it is the most faithful Biblical system) it should leave me to be the most humble person. Reformed theology does not puff us up—it cuts us down. Reformed theology, the most faithful representation of Biblical truth, proclaims the immensity and pervasiveness of our sinfulness.

Tim Keller in his book The Prodigal God talks about the story of the ‘Prodigal Son’. Looking in depth at the elder brother—who is marked by pride. He writes:

“Pharisaical repentance doesn’t go deep enough to get to the real problem. What is the problem? Pride in his good deeds, rather than remorse over his bad deeds, was keeping the older son out of the feast of salvation. The elder brother’s problem is his self-righteousness, the way he uses his moral record to put God and others in his debt to control them and get them to do what he wants. His spiritual problem is the radical insecurity that comes from basing his self-image on achievements and performance, so he must endlessly prop up his sense of self-righteousness by putting others down and finding fault. As one of my teachers in seminary put it, the main barrier between the Pharisees and God is “not their sins, but their damnable good works.””[1]

Doesn’t that just describe many of us? We can’t be gentle. We put others down—maybe our spouse, our children, our leaders. We have to keep reminding ourselves—I’m better, at least I didn’t do that sin. It is a failure to grasp the gospel! It stirs up pride.

ii) Humility is marked by submitting to others:

1 Peter 5:5 5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.

How often do we see someone trying to go “toe to toe” with an authority figure? Sometimes it’s a policeman or a judge in court—Romans 13 tells us to submit to the government—at the time the government was ruled by pagan, a Caesar who proclaimed himself ‘Lord’ and ‘God and Savior.’ I once encountered a man who felt that he had the authority to choose not to submit to a leader—He thought the leader was in the wrong—and maybe the leader was… but the man was unable to show humility and be subject to the leader. It was pride: “I am more right than you.” I read another story of a man who said he couldn’t be in a church because pastors were always intimidated by him—he carried himself with pride thinking he was better than them, in fact, he would not submit unless he felt they could ‘go toe to toe’ with him.

Tonight as we install new elders: will you submit to them?

iii) Humility is marked by how you treat others:

• Husbands: do you speak gently to your wives? Are you tender or forceful and rough? Pushing through our ways, ideas, and agendas. Husbands wrongly understand the Biblical model if they think they are to force their wives to submit.
• Wives—how do you submit to your husband? How often do you cut him down with your words—humiliating him? How often to you nag and gripe when he doesn’t do what you want?
• Parents—how do you speak to your children? Do you fly off the handle?
• With your speech—speak gently; speak the truth in love.

  Ephesians 4:25-26 25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

  Speak truthfully in your relationships—when something angers you be clear and state it—but speak it gently. Speak it in love. Do not fly off the handle—do not be driven my mere emotions. Right actions will stem from humility.

iv) Humility recognizes its own faults first so that you can be patient when someone wrongs you since you know God is patient with you when you sin.

v) When I really know and constantly recognize through the gospel that I am no better than anyone else—suddenly I start treating people as better than me. I treat them with respect and dignity. I think humbly of myself and it allows me to treat others better.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

NIV 1 Timothy 1:15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners-- of whom I am the worst.

Can you truthfully say that about yourself the way Paul spoke of himself?

2) SECOND, WE ARE TO WALK ACCORDING TO OUR CALLING BY BEING PATIENT.

NAU Ephesians 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,
NIV Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Application:
i) If you want to learn to be patient with others—learn about how God has been patient with you.

ii) Seek to me more grateful for the patience you have been shown.
iii) Steps to being patient:

1. Recognize how often you have wronged God. Sometimes it helps to write yourself a list of the ways you’ve sinned. Or open up to a Biblical passage describing sin and meditate on how much your behavior mirrors such an account.
2. Being willing to sacrifice your “rights”. –Often our inability to be patient comes because we demand perfection. This stems from pride—“I am right” and a sense that no one can ever or should ever wrong you.
3. Be willing to help others in their growth. Part of loving people and being longsuffering is bearing their burdens. Sometimes, changes in our habits and our attitudes help people. Example: When a wife stops constantly making demands of her husband and in turn starts to encourage him—often times he is more willing to be the kind of husband he should be. Or- when the husband is gentle and encouraging and speaks gently without ignoring her—often time she will more responsive to him or kinder with her words. Being calm, cool and gently when wronged takes the heart of one who has cultivated patience. Only the work of the gospel cultivates patience.

3) THIRD, WE ARE TO WALK ACCORDING TO OUR CALLING BY PRESERVING UNITY.

Applications:
i) Ken Sande in book The Peacemaker offers some suggestions of attitudes that are the enemies of peace. “I’ve got to look out for number one.” “God helps those who help themselves.” “Surely God doesn’t expect me to stay in an unhappy situation.” “I’ll forgive you but I won’t forget.” “Don’t get mad, get even.” “I deserve better than this.”[2]

ii) These are attitudes of what Paul labels ‘the flesh’. They are not from the Holy Spirit. The key to building unity in our attitudes is to recognize the unity that we already have with fellow Christians.

(1) In our own heart and in our conversations with others we must draw people’s attention to these common bonds. For example, when someone comes to you with an attitude and they want to “share” with you and be “comforted”—first you should probe to understand why the person is sharing it, sometimes sharing stirs up trouble under the guise of ‘a prayer request’ or ‘a concern’.

(2) If the concern is genuine, listen to it—but don’t leave on that note: turn the person’s eyes onto something positive. If someone complains about something you are not making peace by letting it sit their; you are not being supportive by merely listening. You can respond, “Did you ever think about how much that persons loves the church?” Or “Did you ever think about the sacrifices they make?” Or even simply: “Did you ever think about something from their point of view?” In this respect you should be a seed for positive conversation…work hard at keeping the peace—this is only done by putting out little brushfires.

(3) The more you merely listen to “concerns” the more the person thinks they can spread them around. Sometimes the concerns are very real and they must be dealt with—do so. Deal with them. Help that person deal with. Do not think that by merely listening you have been ‘bearing their burden’. Sometimes our concerns are like little fires…they may be real—but if we spread them around, or if we become party to those who spread them around they become big fires. Soon everything is burning and no one remembers what the real issue was. But if we handle the real issue right away, we are like a firefighter—we put out the fire—we keep the peace.

(4) BE DILIGENT AT KEEPING THE PEACE.

iii) When you are ready to fight in a conflict begin to list all the things that you and the other person have in common, such as: a common God, a common faith, one Lord, one hope, one forgiveness in Christ, one peace with God. Reminding ourselves of our unity in our vertical relationship to God should change our motivation for our horizontal relationships.

iv) In Conflict:

• Be clear on what the real issues are.
• Examine your motives.
• Check your ego at the door. Most conflicts explode not from the actual issues but from the egos of the persons involved.
• Consider the interests of others.

  Philippians 2:4 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

v) Ken Sande in The Peacemaker suggests the acronym “PAUSE” for conflict resolution[3]

1. Prepare –praying, getting the facts right, study the Biblical response, plan ahead. Think through what your going to say, how your tone is going to be, what issues are most crucial—how you will handle potential responses.
2. Affirm relationships –acknowledge your relationship to the person and to God. Speak it clearly to the other person. "I love you." "We are brothers/sisters in Christ."
3. Understand interests. Ex. I remember being in a fight with my dad one time over some issue (and he was probably right) and I just screamed something like—“Just listen to me”. My mom injected herself. She may not have agreed with me—I don’t remember the issue—but she understood where I was coming from and why I was getting so angry. To resolve conflict you have to understand why someone is so worked up and there are times where their interests are more important than your own stakes in the issue.
4. Search for Creative Solutions.
5. Evaluate the options objectively and reasonably. Sometimes we make issues a matter of life and death when in reality we loose nothing if we compromise. Sometimes we become stubborn and want to "win" not matter the cost. How ungodly to seek to win the fight while we loose the war.

4) Conclusion: Our vision is to be a church that ‘glorifies God and enjoys Him’. Listen to this benediction from the Word of God:

Romans 15:5-6 5 Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The goal of unity is to glorify God with one voice. Walk according to your calling.

[1] Keller, Prodigal God, p.77
[2]The Peacemaker. Second Edition. P. 43-44.
[3] Pp. 206ff.